All About Me

I'm coming back to the heart of worship where it's all about You, all about You, Jesus.

Those are very popular song lyrics, but am I lying everytime I sing them. The words are often my prayer, but not truth in my life. "Lord, bring me to a place where it really is all about you. Keep me focused!" And then the next thing I know, my focus is on me again. I can't stand it. I love my Jesus and just want to be able to keep my focus on him knowing all things will fall into place when I do that. I worry, though. I worry about money. About making/keeping friend. About my future: future husband, future kids, future job. I worry I won't even have any of the "good life" since I've never even been in a relationship! I think about myself and use the word "I" way too much. Just look at this paragraph and that is evident.

Where is this coming from? I'll tell you about today.

This morning I woke up and decided I should start a fast. At a Bible study I went to the other night some girls were talking about doing a 21 day fast, and I figured I'd join because I want to deepen my relationship with Christ. I still do. Well, I didn't eat anything until 1 as I tried to figure out if I was doing just fruits, veggies and water or just liquids. I finally decided I'd do both. The morning was great. I spent time with Jesus and it was wonderful. Later though, I became more obsessed in thinking about my "fast" like more of a diet than a fast. Why do I do this? I drive myself crazy. Instead of using my extra time to worship my Savior, I spent it thinking about how "good this fast is going to be for me physically."

I think I will continue the fast. I don't know if I'll do 21 days, but I'd like to at least try. And I want to change my focus, too. I'm expecting spiritual growth. I'm expecting God to do crazy, wonderful things in my life. I'm ready, Lord!